Friday, February 15, 2008

Epilogue


Dear Mum and Da,

I’ve gone with Xylic on a little jaunt; No, Mum, we’re not eloping. We’re going on some sort of quest. I’m not really sure of the particulars, or I’d tell you, but I’m sure it can’t be too dangerous. Oh, and we’re being joined by an elf, a midget dwarf, and a half-ogre. I’ll be back in a few days.

Please feed Snowball for me!

Bye,

Bactine

* * * * * *

Dear Mum,

I didn’t mention before that it was Sangwine we went with. Don’t tell Da, he’ll go off on a tirade about elves again. I know it’s been more than a few days, but I think this is possibly what adventuring is. We went to see the bog witch, but she wasn’t home, so then we were attacked by an orc!

Well, to be honest, actually, we attacked the orc. I know they hang around in unseemly places and I probably shouldn’t be hanging around where orcs are, but this one seemed kind of friendly once he dropped his barbaric façade. We didn’t get much out of him, though, because Xylic shot him in the eye. He can be such a moron.

Oh, he shot Sangwine, too. I don’t think that was an accident. I suppose it was fortunate that I have my healing abilities, now, because I had to use them on Sangwine, not that he appreciated it. I’m starting to see that he isn’t as nice as I thought he was before. In fact, he’s sort of insufferable.

Regardless, I’m going to see where this goes, for now.

Don’t worry! Should I be threatened, doubtless Xylic will shoot whatever it is in the eye. Did I mention what a moron he is?

Love,

Bactine

The Slug and Lettuce

* * * * * *

Dear Mum,

I know I haven’t written for a while, but we went through the Forest of Darkness, and it was just as dark as everyone says! Also, it’s full of chipmunks that eat people. Xylic and I had a sort of brush with them, but the half-ogre, Derf, saved us. I guess that makes a long story short.

I absolutely can not STAND Sangwine. However, it’s true, he is an exiled prince. I guess that’s why he thinks he’s so much better than everyone else. Well, he isn’t, mum, he’s awful and imperious and complains about the most petty things.

Mountain trolls made us rich and Xylic accidentally shot me with a magic wand that made my hair long. He says it’s pretty. Going to get a new dress made, now! I’ll write soon.

Love,

Bactine

The Prancing Dragyn Inn

City of Sol

* * * * * *

Dear Mum,

Well, I thought Sangwine was awful, but I’m starting to think all elves are like that. All of them except Xylic.

That’s right, mum! Xylic is half-elven! I couldn’t believe it either! Well, once I found out it all made a weird kind of sense. He does look vaguely elven, doesn’t he? Well, it’s sort of a sad story. He’s such a good friend.

Anyway, I met a third elf in the last city we were in named Al’bert, and he’s positively horrid. Horrid, horrid! He used some kind of glamour spell on me and well, I don’t really remember much of what happened, except I ended up knocking him back against the wall with a spell.

As for Sangwine, he well, he threw a goblet at my head. I think that’s the most depraved thing possible. You’ll be pleased to know I beamed him with a candelabra right afterwards. Right in the face! He’s not too horribly bad, in fact, he’s kind of vulnerable and not nearly as arrogant as I thought. But the biggest thing is that we met a dragon!

It was actually real dragon. The midget dwarf, Stump, knows him from somewhere. It didn’t go very well, but we lived.

We’re going into the desert, now. I think we might finish this quest, soon!

Love,

Bactine

Kazaad’sandish

* * * * * *

Dear Mum,

Well, we finished the quest, more or less, not that it profited us anything. That lousy elf, Al’bert, was waiting for us when we got there. Apparently he badly wants to kill Sangwine.

There was a wizard at the monolith in the desert (long story) who freed the half-ogre from the curse he was under. We had no idea, the poor fellow! Derf is one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met.

Sangwine is blah, mum, I just can’t talk about him. I think he might try to end his exile, and that means I’m not done. I’m not coming home quite yet. Xylic and the rest of us are staying with him, too. Somehow everything has changed.

Love,

Bactine

The Fire and The Flame

City of Ena

* * * * * *

Dear Mum,

We met a giant, mum, and he tried to kill us! We picked up a goose that lays fake gold eggs, and some fairy with a perpetually sunny disposition. She drives me crazy. She’s absolutely perfect! It’s makes me sick to my toes.

Regardless, I suppose it’s time I come clean. I’ve fallen very deeply in love with Sangwine. I couldn’t help it, mum! I swear I hated him once I started to know him, but then once I got to know the real him, I couldn’t stop it. Last night, for the first time, he kissed me. For three hours. I can feel your disapproval through the distance of this letter, but just know I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.

I refuse to think about the fact that anything between us is entirely impossible. I’ll leave that to tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, we’re leaving tomorrow to go into Schloeffelonia. Sangwine is really going to try to regain the throne. That means he has to depose an Overlord of Darkness. I think he’ll need all the help he can get in that endeavor.

Unfortunately, mum, I’m not going to be able to write to you until we succeed, and if we don’t

I love you and da both more than almost anything else, remember that. And if it ends here, it was worth every step of the way.

Love Always,

Bactine

The Spinning Precipice Inn

Snow Canyon Village

The End

6 comments:

Scribbler said...

The End?! How can this be?

I've been following this story pretty much from the beginning, and it's been an absolute delight! You've a way with words that makes them lift off the screen. I hope that you continue to make good use of your gift.

Thank you very much for sharing with us all!

amuletts said...

Just wanted to say: Thankyou so much for this. I really enjoyed reading it :)

spasticfreakshow said...

i'm with scribbler. i read these last few chapters last week and didn't know what to say. i enjoyed it so much i can't believe it's over!

you are a charming storyteller and i can't wait to read more...i'll hold out hope for a sequel novel after lint is finished!

rowling sort of owes us another after that hastened, jumbled ending which was so completely unsatisfying but actually i can't imagine you doing that with Lint anyway. you deliver the goods, colby! now what bright publisher is going to realize it? ;-)

Zypher said...

Well, I see I'm far behind most people, but this is wonderful work, Colby. You can write and draw. SO unfair. I sincerely look forward to whatever else I can find.

Jeanette said...

I don't think I'll ever to quite so eloquently say it, but your way with words is so beautiful and draws us all in. How did you get so good??? any authors to recommend?? haha but I guess it's a gift that not every one can have eh? :D Beautiful story.

Amy said...

i cried at that last letter omg. i loved it i cant wait till i read all the others. but for now i have to go to sleep cause i can barely read the screen cause i read this whole thing in one go.